101113 - In My Dream

The moment when you almost drop your tears.

Using a dry voice with a dry tone, on the surface, teary tired eyes, the seemingly unfeeling you keep many things to yourself, but you said warm words that are so good to hear… I broke down with tears that are hard to hide, and almost overflowing from my heart.

I’m not you, that I won’t ever know what happened with you. But one that I really know about you. You are a tough boy, strong-hearted man that you won’t let anybody to know your weak and tired feeling. You always try so hardly for moving and never give up of anything.

You’re tired right? But who will understand about that?Who will truly know about that type of thing? Those who haven’t been through all these will surely not understand. Although that we might not be able to be as close and talk about everything. Even if its like that, I already felt very fortunate to let my heart and mind to know who you are, who “Cho Kyu Hyun” is.

As you really miss your noona that far away in the others’ overseas country, we really miss your smile because of her embrace and her attention to you. She understands you every little bit that none of the other can do it for you, your lovely noona can do it for you. For making you smile even more..

Do you know that I’m noona to you? Even it’s just 1 day older. I already knew you since your first time debut with Super Junior. From the beginning that you through your hard times with the other 12 members, rejection of many fans about your appearance with the other members. I didn’t even care about it at that time. I didn’t even want to know who’s Super Junior nor Cho Kyuhyun. But it forced me to realize about 1 thing, “Love begins from your eyes, mind and heart.” I was starting to get that meaning when I watched you, struggling your life, against those of pains from the accident that nearly robbed your life. I know that I wasn’t being with you from the beginning, but I’ll be with you now and forever like a timeless clock that never ends. I know there’s nothing last forever, but at least until the time that you already found your real happiness.

When there are hard times, if I’d just listen to your voice for a moment, I could forget everything and smile it off. I was so fortunate to be able to know you. Because you’d make me smile by just being yourself. I could find you even if you go far away over there. Because you’re smiling inside of me. I know I’m a fool.. Even though I know, all I can do is watching, can only watch you from afar, and so we could even become strangers. Just like a fool I can’t even bare to say that I love you. More and more everyday.

I don’t even care about who’s the girl that you must to act sweetly and lovely on the stage, in front of the camera… and I don’t really care who’s the girl that close to you now, even that actress, singer or whoever she is. I just care for your happiness, if you’re happy for being with someone that really special to you. I’m happy.

For now, with just a word of “Fighting!”, I have understood everything. My strength is recharged. I thought of your bright smile… Just think of your bright smile, that never fails to make me smile.

You still can give your smile even in these tiring days. And starting from now, please make us smile even more. The way to make it happens, that just for seeing you to be healthy and smiling from your heart.

Please don’t cry again. Cho Kyuhyun. I love you.

So touching message :’(


this is i have from : chokyuhyunism.tumblr.com